xo audge @ debrouprescesky@sasktel.net

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I don’t know anything except its my fault and I deserve this. The Karma Gods’ are attacking me but I’ve been good lately…Or so I thought. You can never betray those karma gods.. they are always watching..

I’m actually really sad about it. That phone made me feel like a superstar. I guess this is a good kick in the ass reminding me of the very simple and boring life I lead. Oh, le sighe, how I wish I was Katy Perry, kissing girls. Just kidding.

but damn, I wish I never lost my friggin’ cell phone.

2. I’m obsessed with death but not in a morbid sense, moreso a inquisitive mind.

3.As a little girl, I had the best imagination. I can remember sitting there, on my couch, for 12 hours, pretending it was a ship.

4. I adore coffee.

5. I am on a NO MSG diet. Fun.

6. I love my job but I struggle with internal issues regarding stuff I face daily.

7. My co-workers are my friends.

8. I love my new SUV. its pretty. I bought it with a dent.

9. My boyfriend tucks me into bed each and every night.

10. I sleep with a stugged shark.

11. I love going for walks with my dog. He makes me happy.

12. I once thought I was bipolar but I realize I’m just overly depressed.

13. I found out my depression started with a car accident my family got in, in Sept 2008. I almost lost them all.

14. My mom is my best friend. Shes white with red hair. Adorable.

15. I’m native but almost everyone I know asks me If I’m asian.

16. I wish I was taller with my long hair.

17. I get embarrassed shopping at La Senza because I have to go to the A section.

18. I don’t like to spend money on expensive clothes. I shop thrift and consignment.

19. My boyfriend has a fashion sense so well that he is a metrosexual. Most people just call him gay.

20. Trust me, he isn’t.

21. Our first time drinking, I got slammed and said, “If you ARE gay, let me know because… I love you.” Romantic, eh?

22. I know at my job we aren’t supposed to have favorite youth, but I secretly do. It doesn’t affect my job.

23. I live paycheck to paycheck. I hate those last 5 friggin days!

24. I have 24.00 in my bank account until Thursday. Blahhhh.

25. I love reading books, especially classics. I always go to SparkNotes.Com to assist me.

26. I want to return to school one day to finish my degree. Ew.

27. I am ADHD and don’t take medication but I don’t feel I need too. I have a job where energy is thrived upon.

28. Regardless, I’m addicted to coffee.

29. I wish I was dating Edward Cullen. *laugh*

30. I miss my dad more then words can say.

31. I wish my sister and her family.. well, I wish I was closer with them.

32. I struggle with feeling good about taking time off work and just enjoying my life. Workaholic I guess.

33. I’m petrified of my bosses but I also would happily call them my best ones yet!

34. When I really struggle with a kid and start getting frustrated and exhausted, I think of the ten seconds of the worst moment of their life. It rejuvenates me.

35. Working with kids is my life. I love them all.

36. I’ve been sent to the ER from attacks I’ve had from children.

37. I have a blackberry curve cell phone.

38. I love trash T.V but not dumb shit like Maury.

39. Although, sometimes, I want to download a Maury porno just to see what its like. Uncensored, I guess. I have NO clue why.

40. I like the free movie documentaries on my t.v

41. I want my boyfriend to be happy.

42. I want to move to Vancouver eventually.

43. I am pumped to do Yoga.

44. I’m scared that I’ll look like an idiot infront of everyone.

45. Sometimes, I worry about weird shit such as grease exploding in my face and being mutilated- will anyone still stand by me? dumb, I know.

46. I constantly wonder what my dads last thoughts were.

47. Sometimes, I hate blogging because everyone is so fabulous at it and I feel stupid. Then I remember, its my blog and its not a social contest. I just feel inferior I guess.

48. I want to save the world and recycle tons more.

49. My dog pissed on my duvet. It makes me sad.

50. It costs 30-40$ just to fix.

Wearing: White embossed hoodie, black tanktop, ‘silver’ jeans, white socks, brown boots.

Listening to: Boyfriend sleeping.. shhhhh…

To do: haul ass off computer chair and do budgetting.

love, audge and fenris.

How gorgie are these? I want them. I am going to buy them. Perhaps.

 Awesome.

Meeting Elizabeth was shockingly pleasent. She is a wonderful lady. I don’t even know how it happened but I just had word vomit and it all came out. And, SHE LISTENED WITHOUT JUDGING. Shock.

So on the homefront, that went lovely.

On the downfront, I have a rash from this damn medication. I’ll live.

On the upfront, I’m joining a yoga course in February, a French course in April, and a new casual position at the womens shelter.

On the medicore-front, debating if I should/could give up the daycare job. Juggling 5 jobs isn’t healthy for anyone.

On the $$$-front, broke as a joke, but dang, I want em’ booties!

I feel like I’m going in for an interview. I feel like I need todo my hair and make up, put on some fabity fab clothes, and give the message, “no, really, I’m not a fuckup. This is all a misunderstanding.”

I made the comment to a friend of feeling like, “I’m going there to get judged.” She laughed, and said, “well, aren’t you? I mean, your going and saying, ‘all this shit is wrong with me and you tell me how to deal with it…” although you had to be there to see the hand gestures she made. Hilarious.

How the hell do you begin? “So, I’m Audrey and I’m here because I’m sad all the time and can’t stop crying?” … *re-adjust pose in the mirror and say cheerfully* “Hey Sup, I’m Audrey… *re-adjust, le sighe” Hi, My name is Audrey and you know my mom…”

Bingo. So we’ve figured out the greeting but what of relaying the actual message of being a screwed up mind at its greatest?

I give up and I’m letting the chips fall where they may.

Blah. I don’t want to go. I’m obviously very worked up about it since I’ve been awake since 6:30, chatting about this exact prediciment to my stuffed shark in bed.

Tell you how it goes…

and taking regular hits of caffeine reduces the risk of breast cancer.^[74] Coffee appears to reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, heart disease, diabetes mellitus type 2, cirrhosis of the liver,^[75] and gout. (Wikipedia)

But the main reason for this post wasn’t about the HEALTH effects of Coffee…Although I was quite surprised, it is mainly about my next Etsy Purchase!

I love the dragonfly. For me, it resembles being able to adapt to all situations given and still thrive. It is a very resilient insect. For more by this amazing artist, click me.

 This is my favorite conditioner. It is about 20$ for 8oz but soooo WORTH IT. I don’t condition ALL the time as it tends to make my hair limp but this stuff, you could. I think the price tag has a little something to do with why I don’t 24/7…

I don’t know why this picture is so large with white but whatever. I absolutely love the feeling of this on my skin. I’m not so much a puff soap person. I can’t stand it. I’d rather have the bar. Weird, I know.    

This product is AMAZING. You use a dime size amount and it just does the job. Your face smells like cucumbers after.

This is my favorite shampoo. It is about 40$ for a liter but it is worth it. I guess I go high-end for my hair. It is by AG Hair  Cosmetics, and I have the ‘daily’ use.

This lotion is great. It smells like brown sugar and you have to custom order it by Beauti Control. You seriously smell… AMAZING. BUY IT. ASAP!

Yum in the bath. 2-3 drops in the tub, and just, relax. I HIGHLY (in the sense of if you don’t you are SO screwed) suggest putting your hair in a HIGH ponytail as if this mix touches it, your a greaseball!

Finally it ended with me demanding his love or else; and he smirks and says, “Audrey, you will not ever find another who loves you as much as I do.” and walks away.

I was fuming furious. I wanted to be dramatic and throw a full glass of wine at the wall while screaming insults. Instead, I settled for just the crying hysterically, you would think I was filming for a soap opera the way I was carrying on. So tragic.

We made up, obviously. Fell asleep.

I woke up shivering. I had one blanket wrapped loosly around my body. Instantly, I felt his arms carry another heavier blanket across my chest. I groggily looked over into his closed eyes. He was still asleep? How did he do that? I fall back asleep.

While he makes dinner (my favorite pizza) and I ask what movie he wants to watch, he leans over the couch and hands me my plate that he prepared for me. He just shrugs and says, “Whatever you want.” I chose a love comedy- notorious chick flick. He cuddles me close.

Our dog, little Fenris, the dog he didn’t want…The dog he bought me because it would make me happy. The dog he instantly fell in love with as well, curls between us.

He is absolutely correct. I will never find another one who loves me as much as he did. Today- I realized its the pizza-handing, the pizza-making, the lack of movie-choosing, the shivering remedy boyfriend that makes my life so fantastic. I am a very lucky gal.

Jack Frost and I do get along. Even without make up and me looking out the window. Its just pure love. He hides my blemishes well. He is also in agreement that sometimes, your moms old 80-90′s vintage jewelary can compliment quite well.