I think the reason it is called boxing day is due to the fact we box each other out and beat the shit out of each other. Its the one day people can go absolute insane and still feel justified. Last year, the ex and I were in Canadian Tire. I had meandered to the cooking aisle and was minding my own business alongside the business of some mixing bowls- when I heard, ‘I FUCKING HAD IT FIRST YOU BITCH!” Wow. Two adults were scrapping it out over a hand mixer.
Luckily, this won’t happen for me as I got one for Christmas from Usdms’ parents. None the less, I crept out of there, bowls in tow. It made me shiver with the, ‘I’m a dark alley with two men following me.’ Ridiculous, I tell you. I also was worried that they would actually harm each other physically. “Oh, that black eye? I fought for that mixer.”
You’re cool. So tommorow, I venture back into the crowd apparently. I call up my eldest sister.
Norma: “Yah, we are going at about 8 tommorow morning.”
Me: “….oh. I’m not.”
Norma:” Yes you are. Your boyfriend already told us.”
Norma, way too cheerful: “C-ya tommorow!”
I hope she gets a black eye and realizes the insanity the hard way. Better yet, I hope I get a black eye so I can have an even more legitimate reason to never go to the mall on Boxing Day ever.