So my new medication is responcible for making me lose weight. Now, majority of women would be screaming, “hand me over THAT perscription!” but when you are 5’2 and 110lbs, rollercoastering down to 104lbs in 1 week is an extremely scary prediciment.
Its not that the medication is just melting away the weight. I just don’t feel ‘hungry.’ I am a grazer. Rarely do I enjoy 3 meals a day; moreso, 15 snacks and 2 meals. I’m constantly picking at foods, rummaging in the fridge, etc. I have always relied on my body to say, ‘oh, time for a carrot!”
So when you rely on your body messages and they cease coming to your brain, you are stuck with, ‘Fuck. I ate an orange all day. Shit- thats my stomach growling.’ Then you find yourself actually sitting cross legged in your panties infront of the fridge at 5 in the morning, just shoving what could be shit in your mouth, just so you don’t turn into the girl from Intervention.
Scary. I am too worried to go infront of a scale. Some days I eat, Some days I force myself to eat, and somedays, I simply forget. However, when my boyfriend hands me a box of Laura Secord Chocolates and says, “Its yours..AFTER dinner.”
I simply melt away into my little happy place.